Any day now I fully expect to see one of those abominable stories about gulls making the national newspapers. You know the sort of thing. Holidaymaker Mr I Rate of Great Moaning, Essex, will be grumbling that a “seagull” swooped down and grabbed his chips, ice cream or sandwich while he was otherwise engaged admiring the curves of Miss Fetching as she reclined on the beach.
Mr I Rate will be quoted complaining about the local council because he feels they have failed to deal with the gull menace. Mr I Rate doesn’t realise the council can do nothing because gulls are a protected species.
Wild Things: Hooray for the butterflies
National newspapers seem to lap up these stories. They may be headlined “Gull threat must be dealt with” in The Times or “Seagull nicked my chips” in The Sun. Wherever these anti-gull gems appear there will be little or no reference to the fact that gull numbers are falling alarmingly.
Herring gull, the most likely bandit in a seaside raid, has been on the red list of birds of greatest conservation concern some time while common gull and great black-backed gull were added to the list last year. Black-headed gull and lesser black-backed gull appear on the yellow or amber list. All suffered population crashes.
Fortunately for Mr I Rate a solution may be at hand. If you are wary of thieving gulls on holiday, Sussex University Professor Paul Graham suggests staring and pointing at a gull with designs on your snack. He says gulls can be deterred from attack in this way because they have lost the element of surprise.
Many gulls searching for easy food pickings have moved inland to rubbish tips and landfill sites. You are as likely to see herring gull in Sidcup as Sidmouth. Usually gulls fly by a few hundred yards from my window and numbers increase in windy weather or after storms. Occasionally they are bold enough to come closer. Black-headed gulls alight on nearby streetlamps.
Wild Things: Can you help with the Big Butterfly Count?
When a lesser black-back gull landed quietly on a neighbour’s chimney pot a couple of weeks ago it was mobbed by a herring gull with its familiar seaside “yelp” call at full blast. The lesser flew off, and the herring claimed perching rights on the pot before descending into my garden. With no chips, ice creams or sandwiches on offer it soon disappeared.
Boldness from gulls proved such a problem for the Cheesy Toast Snack Bar in St. Andrews, Fife, they are considering charging a £1 “seagull” insurance on purchases after having to provide replacement food for customers robbed by marauding “seagulls”. Of course the bar management could always claim no such bird as seagull exists as informed readers will already know.
Readers will also recall my story recently about white wind pump blades being painted black in a bid to deter gulls from flying into them. Now “expert” gardeners on TikTok are suggesting painting stones to look like strawberries, tomatoes and plums. They claim plundering birds will gradually associate the fake fruits with bad experiences and eventually ignore even the genuine article! Personally I’d rather see the birds feeding but if fruits are important enough to deserve such drastic measures maybe kids could be enrolled in this painting game. Got to be better than staring at a mobile phone.
