The mother of Dagenham student Ethan Pieterse, 19, told East London Coroner’s Court she had been shut out of her son’s education at Anglia Ruskin University, Chelmsford.
“I was not allowed to be involved in his education and to know how he was getting on,” Verna Pieterse told coroner Nadia Persaud.
“It was frustrating for me not to be able to help and support him… ASD (autism spectrum disorder) does not go away when someone turns 18.”
Ethan, of Becontree Avenue, was also described as having Asperger’s syndrome. He died at Romford train station on November 4.
His father Denver told Mrs Persaud he had been “a beautiful young man”.
“He always stood up for people and was concerned for the welfare of others,” his family wrote in a statement, noting his voluntary work at a local foodbank.
“Everyone who came into contact with him always commented on what a kind and caring person he was.
“He also had a love and interest in animals, hence why he studied animal science.”
At university, “he tried to do the best he could and ask the lecturers for help but unfortunately they did not give him the extra support that he needed,” Mrs Pieterse said.
“When you say that you weren’t allowed to assist him with his work, is that from the university or from him?” asked the coroner.
“From the university,” Mrs Pieterse replied. “They said that he was 18 so it has to go through him and not through me… I couldn’t be involved in certain things, which was a bit of a hindrance for me as a mother.”
“Was there any adjustment to take account of the ASD?” asked Mrs Persaud.
“No,” Mrs Pieterse said. “I’m not sure if all the lecturers knew of the ASD, if that was disseminated.”
She described two incidents she felt showed Ethan’s disability was not being taken into account.
He was once told he had seven days to prepare a presentation, but then asked to deliver it after just one day, she said. He failed the assignment.
Another time, he asked a lecturer to check an essay, was told it looked okay, but then handed it in and failed.
He ended up having to repeat a year of university.
“In the last year, he became more withdrawn,” the family wrote. “He spent more and more time in his room. His sleep pattern changed. He slept more during the day and was up later at night.”
In the days before his death, he was “withdrawn and agitated”.
“On Halloween night he refused to have anyone come through the door for trick or treating and switched off the lights in the house,” the family said.
On November 4, as he drove his son to Chadwell Health station, Mr Pieterse described the mood as “strange”.
“He just went silent, you know?” he said, tearfully.
Ethan caught a train to Romford, then took his life.
“He was a good boy,” Mr Pieterse wept. “Everything has changed since he passed. Our lives are not the same anymore. People say life goes on but our lives have changed…
“The loss, the emptiness. No one should experience this. No person. A parent shouldn’t bury his child.”
Ruling Ethan’s death a suicide, Mrs Persaud said she was considering writing a prevention of future deaths report about the university – although the evidence was insufficient to find his struggles there had directly led to his death.
“I’m concerned that he had a diagnosis of ASD and from the information provided it’s not clear that actually he was given adequate adjustments and support,” she said, adding she would suggest “for families to be more involved with those students who might require more support.”
She said she would “raise my concern with the university” and give it 28 days to “let me know what they’re going to do about improving the university services for young people who have this sort of diagnosis.”
Anglia Ruskin University said: “Ethan was a much-loved student and his death was deeply felt across our community.
“As we have not yet received any communication from the coroner we are currently unable to offer any further comment.”
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