I am a carer and perhaps it’s time for me to talk about it
Jamie Stone is the Liberal Democrat MP for Caithness, Sutherland and Easter Ross and the chair of the House of Commons Petitions Committee.
This week is carers week.
To be honest it’s a bit of a difficult subject for me, one I have shied away from for probably too long. You see, I am a carer and perhaps it’s time for me to talk about it.
Twenty-six years ago my wife Flora was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Whilst she survived the operation, it left her seriously disabled. (Before I proceed, I want to assure any concerned readers that I have checked with her that it’s ok for me to write about this). Her disability consists of the loss of movement in her left arm and a very weak left leg. She does walk, but with great difficulty. It is fair to say her mobility was permanently and severely impeded. However, despite both our lives changing suddenly and dramatically all those years ago, we are both equally grateful that she is still here.
But that’s not the point of what I’m about to say.
We all of us spend the first part of our lives thinking we are immortal. That is why it is the worst kind of shock when something serious leaves someone in a different state of health. I myself was utterly unprepared for the notion of being a carer. To say I was bewildered and confused is an understatement. We had both been in the prime of our lives, and then suddenly this was upon us.
So what I want to say this week is it ain’t easy being a carer – particularly when you start.
How do I access support services? How can I get help with changes to my home to make it disabled friendly? How will I juggle other responsibilities in my life?
These were the questions that came out of nowhere to me. And they were frightening.
Carers face pretty severe challenges – but there are people and organisations out there that do wonderful things to help carers fulfil their role.
I think of the NHS; I think of our local councils – only two of the many organisations that are there to help when they are needed. I and my wife have come to bless this assistance and be very grateful for it. I wouldn’t dare moan.
Whilst it is not exactly ‘normal’ life, you can get used to caring: I for one take pride in looking after and helping my wife. In sickness and in health, as I once said. I’m utterly in awe of her resilience.
I feel very passionately that signposting carers (and the cared for) to where they can best receive advice and assistance is absolutely crucial.
What’s more, it should be a more joined-up approach.
For example, when someone like my wife goes for her PIP assessment, it would be helpful if someone could check whether that person is receiving other help to which they are eligible. By which I mean other than the benefits systems. At present, that doesn’t really happen, and that is what I mean by ‘joined-up’. It could and should happen.
As I go about my business as an MP, I’m still surprised to come across cases of constituents who are carers losing out on the assistance to which they are entitled.
Being a carer myself does help me point these people in the right directions, but it would be better if this happened automatically.
So those are my thoughts this carers week. Carers do an excellent and invaluable job. But they are usually spinning more plates than their two hands can take. This is why we should be constantly looking for ways to make their lives that little bit easier.
They spend their lives giving and we can all agree they deserve a little back.
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